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Monday, August 1, 2016
Sunday, July 10, 2016
Madeira: A Scenic Glimpse into European Retirement
Less than 300 miles off the coast of Morocco, lies a small Portuguese island, ironically almost identical in size to the city of Austin. Within the borders of this ocean-locked landmass reside some of the most stunning landscapes in all of Europe, if not the world. Seaside cliffs that fall a record 1,800 feet into the ocean below. Inland mountains whose tree-covered peaks pierce the clouds above. An endless network of 500-year-old manmade water channels, populated throughout the rugged interior terrain, providing miles upon miles of hiking paths, in addition to functioning as the source of irrigation for all who call Madeira home.
If the breathtaking landscapes have not won you over, then the unwavering climate of 78 degree days will. Or possibly the gastronomical wonders which present themselves in every hidden café or back-alley restaurant. Based on description alone, one would assume such a paradise would be visited thousands upon thousands each year. Rivaling comparable ocean-locked paradises such as Bali, Fiji, or even Bora Bora. However, few guide books list its name. No search in pursuit of “Portuguese highlights” reveals its presence. The only detail one could possibly find on this remote utopia is found within the official government-sponsored website, or a smattering of Trip Advisor forum posts.
Why, one must ask? Why has Madeira not found itself upon the greater travel map of the world. Why is a place seemingly destined for the uninterrupted flow of foreigners, essentially not. Well, the answer is simple -- Death. Madeira, to word as callously as possible, is where Europeans go to die. Not in the unpleasant sense brought about by notions of leper colonies or other asylums of “unfortuitous” causes. Instead, Madeira is a land were “the mix of weather and leisure activities” encourages those of “advanced age” to seek a final resting place before their maker is met. And the only way to bide one’s time prior to that point? Quite obviously with a sweater tied around your neck, hands clasped behind your back, walking aimlessly around at a pace no greater than ½ MPH for days on end. Well, in actuality, until days come to an end.
For Julie and myself, our 5 days upon the island in Madeira were represented by a combination of both awe and astonishment. Awe at the mountainous landscapes and oceanside beauty to which we awoke each and every day. Astonishment from our inability to travel any length of distance without having to maneuver around a statue-esque elder, seemingly always staring off into the distance at relatively nothing. On the road, speed limits were not a constraint, but instead an unreachable goal. In restaurants, desolation was all but unavoidable after the sun had fallen beneath the horizon. And on the mountains, the distant winds passing through valleys below were only interrupted by the sounds of hacking, coughing, wheezing & any other variances of proper lung function.
All in all, despite feeling as if we constantly were walking into a vast outdoor bingo hall, our time on the remote island of Madeira was still quite enjoyable. There may have been only a handful of bars, a sandless beach, and a general lacking of all other features required to meet the minimum thresholds of Lonely Planet inclusion, but we had eachother. And in 40-50 years from today, at least now we will be prepared for what our future lives will have in store.
Onto the pics:
If the breathtaking landscapes have not won you over, then the unwavering climate of 78 degree days will. Or possibly the gastronomical wonders which present themselves in every hidden café or back-alley restaurant. Based on description alone, one would assume such a paradise would be visited thousands upon thousands each year. Rivaling comparable ocean-locked paradises such as Bali, Fiji, or even Bora Bora. However, few guide books list its name. No search in pursuit of “Portuguese highlights” reveals its presence. The only detail one could possibly find on this remote utopia is found within the official government-sponsored website, or a smattering of Trip Advisor forum posts.
Why, one must ask? Why has Madeira not found itself upon the greater travel map of the world. Why is a place seemingly destined for the uninterrupted flow of foreigners, essentially not. Well, the answer is simple -- Death. Madeira, to word as callously as possible, is where Europeans go to die. Not in the unpleasant sense brought about by notions of leper colonies or other asylums of “unfortuitous” causes. Instead, Madeira is a land were “the mix of weather and leisure activities” encourages those of “advanced age” to seek a final resting place before their maker is met. And the only way to bide one’s time prior to that point? Quite obviously with a sweater tied around your neck, hands clasped behind your back, walking aimlessly around at a pace no greater than ½ MPH for days on end. Well, in actuality, until days come to an end.
For Julie and myself, our 5 days upon the island in Madeira were represented by a combination of both awe and astonishment. Awe at the mountainous landscapes and oceanside beauty to which we awoke each and every day. Astonishment from our inability to travel any length of distance without having to maneuver around a statue-esque elder, seemingly always staring off into the distance at relatively nothing. On the road, speed limits were not a constraint, but instead an unreachable goal. In restaurants, desolation was all but unavoidable after the sun had fallen beneath the horizon. And on the mountains, the distant winds passing through valleys below were only interrupted by the sounds of hacking, coughing, wheezing & any other variances of proper lung function.
All in all, despite feeling as if we constantly were walking into a vast outdoor bingo hall, our time on the remote island of Madeira was still quite enjoyable. There may have been only a handful of bars, a sandless beach, and a general lacking of all other features required to meet the minimum thresholds of Lonely Planet inclusion, but we had eachother. And in 40-50 years from today, at least now we will be prepared for what our future lives will have in store.
Onto the pics:
| Funchal - The "capital" of Madeira & official retirement community of Europe (in addition to our unofficial home away for home for 5 days) |
| Mercado dos Lavradores - Daily market for fruit, vegetables & approximately 800 hourly visitors who enjoy standing obliviously in each and every aisle |
| Damn colorful / damn tasty |
| One of many "elderly congregation" sections of the city -- This one typically involved heated conversations & exaggerated hand gestures |
| Levada do Caldeirão Verde - A "treacherous hike best suited for advanced climbers" for those who call Madeira home. Otherwise, a "walk" for everyone else |
| Fun Daily Fact #1 - There are over 1,350 miles of Levadas (aka irrigation channels) on the island of Madeira |
| Fun Daily Fact #2 - The oldest levada was built in the 16th century |
| Fun Daily Fact #3 - Waterfalls are cool |
| Taking a ride up the Teleferico (and no, I did not mean "teleconference" Portuguese-disliking auto-correct) |
| Moehlig & Mark |
| Partaking in a traditional wicker basket toboggan ride -- 1.5 miles in 10 mins at a speed up to 30MPH -- And all controlled by two guys with the equivalent of bowling shoes. It was entertaining to say the least. Video = Madeira Tobaggan Ride |
| The 1,850 foot high cliffs at Cabo Girão |
| A wee bit of a drop... |
| Getting my scuba on -- Unfortunately the GoPro attached to my goggles was pointed at my feet the entire dive, so this is a school of fish I actually never saw |
| Enjoying a free fireworks show from our apartment balcony |
| Street Art of Rua Santa Maria - I like to call this one the "butt bush" |
| Everyone's favorite planet-hopping French prince |
| Curral das Freiras (aka Nun's Valley) - Nuns be loving themselves a godly landscape |
| Just to prove our presence |
| Balcony-inspired sunset aka Madeira bedtime signal |
Tuesday, July 5, 2016
Sintra: A Photographic Journey into the Medieval Disneyworld of Europe
A mere 45 minutes by train from Lisbon, the hilly town of Sintra is a prime example of how a unique topography, in combination with an endless “royal purse” can result in a dream world best suited for photographers & avid fans of family trees unrelated to their own. With an almost endless array of castles, palaces, gardens and countless other ornately-decorated “establishments” best suited to those in the realm of "avid Donton Abbey watcher," all spread about a mountainous landscape, Sintra is a place best left to few words, and many photos.
Onto the pics:
Onto the pics:
| Completing the arduous 20 foot journey from our hostel in Lisbon to the train station |
| 45 minutes later, we have arrived at the historic center of Sintra - Home to cafes, souvenir shops and a mild case of "clust-f*ckerness" |
| Your classic "European alleyway cafe" shot |
| Palacio de Pena - A 19th century "Romanticist" castle (Non-history major translation = Big building with pretty colors) |
| Walt would've been real proud of this paint swatch selection |
| Julie attempting to mask her fear of the 1,000 drop to her rear |
| The obsession with roof architecture continues... |
| I secretly hope this is the same knocker at the office door of Martha Ford |
| "Dude looks like a lady" |
| The namesakes of this blog |
| The Castelo dos Mouros (aka Moorish Castle) - A little less Disney-esque/Romantic, slightly more badassery |
| Closer view of badasseriness (voted best new word by dictionary.com) |
| Me + Stairs + Camera = Fun times for Julie |
| "Just one more" |
| "OK, last one, promise" |
| "OK, I'll just meet you at the bottom, this may take a while" |
| Our final stop of the day at Quinta da Regaleira - A vast wonderland of tunnels, stairs, caves and all other sorts of "Game of Thrones secret meeting places" |
| "Michigan Cave" |
| The "Initiation Well" - Standard cloak & dagger type stuff |
| And now from above |
Friday, July 1, 2016
Lisbon: Traveling Around the 1st World in Portuguese Style
Roughly one year since our far eastern journeys around the Orient, and a decidedly “trimmed down” amount of allowable leave remaining in my favor due to last years “excessive borrowing,” Julie and I agreed upon continuing to feed our travel itch, yet in a manner which still maintained employment upon our return to Austin (as any hint to a 2nd annual extended expedition was met with harsh words of discontent from those encompassing jobs more important than mine). Thus, as an alternative to 2 months abroad, enjoying the ridiculous value of 3rd world travel, we chose instead to try our hand at something a bit less time-consuming (i.e. 3 weeks) and a tad more “developed” (i.e. expensive, fancy, toilet-paper-flushing-abilities).
Luckily our selection of a potential destination did not involve hours upon hours of navigating inflight magazines in hopes of finding inspiration from tiny dots and the occasional stars (although I do enjoy the casual perusing of top surgeons around the nation, all conveniently located near a Ruth’s Chris Steakhouse). Instead, a suggestion was made by several of our close friends from Austin, all looking for an escape from the fairly “mild” summers we experience down in Texas. Alongside the newly-married duo of Ben “FTB” Carpenter and Katie “Just Call Me Jesus”Sharpiro Carpenter, as well as our favorite Cuban immigrant, Gabe “I may need a home if our future POTUS has stubby-fingers and an orange-tinted face” Mears, the decision to visit the tapas-inspired/lispy-tongued city of Barcelona was chosen. And since no Soskolne-inspired trip can only visit just one locale, the appendage of a conveniently-located Portugal was added to the mix as well.
Arriving into the capital city of Portugal after a tearful farewell to work & other household responsibilities (damn you year-long siding project), we embarked on 5 days in Lisbon, a city of which neither of us knew much, yet had heard of due to the fact that we are alive, and not residing in a state that ends in “ama” or “ansas” (sound it out, you’ll get them eventually). Despite our initial “limited knowledge” of what truly exists in this faraway land, lucky enough, the internet exists (Al Gore shoutout), and so do thousands upon thousands of reviews, recommendations & travel tidbits. Thus, an itinerary was developed, married-couple-friendly backpacker establishments were researched, and a peak into the piggy bank was explored.
Described as contemporary, yet romantic, renaissance-inspired yet gothic, Lisbon is not your typical city in which to write sarcastic quips, or draw attention to eccentricities which do not exist in the good ole US of A. Instead, it is clean, proper, polite, and almost every other word which causes me to stare blankly at a laptop unsure of how to compose an entertaining blog post (thus the 3 introductory paragraphs). As a result, instead of channeling my inner Rick Steve and throwing excitement in every which direction (fraud I declare you, fraud!), instead I highlight some of our favorite non-photogenic moments:
All in all, we were pleasantly surprised by our time in the city of Lisbon. Maybe due to the fact that we were immersed in true European culture for our first time since college (hurray for cafes, churches & squares) or possibly a result of the excitement around Brexit (HAHA LOL WTF UK), regardless, Lisbon was a great introduction into our 2 weeks to be spent within Portugal.
Onto the pics:
Luckily our selection of a potential destination did not involve hours upon hours of navigating inflight magazines in hopes of finding inspiration from tiny dots and the occasional stars (although I do enjoy the casual perusing of top surgeons around the nation, all conveniently located near a Ruth’s Chris Steakhouse). Instead, a suggestion was made by several of our close friends from Austin, all looking for an escape from the fairly “mild” summers we experience down in Texas. Alongside the newly-married duo of Ben “FTB” Carpenter and Katie “Just Call Me Jesus”
Arriving into the capital city of Portugal after a tearful farewell to work & other household responsibilities (damn you year-long siding project), we embarked on 5 days in Lisbon, a city of which neither of us knew much, yet had heard of due to the fact that we are alive, and not residing in a state that ends in “ama” or “ansas” (sound it out, you’ll get them eventually). Despite our initial “limited knowledge” of what truly exists in this faraway land, lucky enough, the internet exists (Al Gore shoutout), and so do thousands upon thousands of reviews, recommendations & travel tidbits. Thus, an itinerary was developed, married-couple-friendly backpacker establishments were researched, and a peak into the piggy bank was explored.
Described as contemporary, yet romantic, renaissance-inspired yet gothic, Lisbon is not your typical city in which to write sarcastic quips, or draw attention to eccentricities which do not exist in the good ole US of A. Instead, it is clean, proper, polite, and almost every other word which causes me to stare blankly at a laptop unsure of how to compose an entertaining blog post (thus the 3 introductory paragraphs). As a result, instead of channeling my inner Rick Steve and throwing excitement in every which direction (fraud I declare you, fraud!), instead I highlight some of our favorite non-photogenic moments:
-
Lisbon in a Nutshell – Lots of hills, lots of sun, and some other cool stuff which shall appear in the photos below. 9/10 on the “we could live here” scale.
“May I Offer You Some Marijuana or Hash?” – Due to the recent legalization of ALL drugs across the Portuguese landscape, the abundance of “mood-elevating” substances on every which corner was quite prevalent, and almost unavoidable (especially when wearing the apparent “stoner” outfit of cargo shorts, a t-shirt and a faded U of M hat). With the majority of offers involving Marijuana or Hash (and no Julie, they were not attempting to covertly conceal their proposals by uttering “Marijuana shhhhhhhh”), we had the distinct privilege of politely declining 19 offers during our 5 days in Lisboa. We get high on life Mr. Stranger Danger!
I’ll Have Some Bacalhau with my Salt Please – As the national dish of Portugal, Bacalhau, aka “salted cod,” is advertised everywhere and anywhere food has the ability to be presented on a standing piece of wood (i.e. table). Deciding to partake in Portuguese tradition, we visited Laurentina o Rei do Bacalhau, roughly translated, “the House of Bacalhau” -- The most revered cod-serving establishment in the city. And while their cod may be the best, we were unable to tell, as approximately 82 pounds of salt covered its pungently-flavored flesh. Mas agua por favor.
Public Transportation – With a population of just over 500,000 Por-Too-Gais, Lisbon encompasses a surprisingly unlimited array of transportation options. A fully-functional/spectacularly-clean subway, endless yellow-tinted trams, funiculars (best translated as “inner-city public elevators”), Asian-inspired tuk-tuks and of course jammed-packed buses to fill in all the gaps to which the prior 4 do not travel. Austin, in comparison, a city of over 900,000 Hip-Sters, encompasses a fairly untimely bus system and a crappy light-rail which goes nowhere anybody wants to go. Oh yes, but we do have bike lanes. Endless miles of partially-used bike lanes. Do not forget about the bike lanes! (Rant over).
All in all, we were pleasantly surprised by our time in the city of Lisbon. Maybe due to the fact that we were immersed in true European culture for our first time since college (hurray for cafes, churches & squares) or possibly a result of the excitement around Brexit (HAHA LOL WTF UK), regardless, Lisbon was a great introduction into our 2 weeks to be spent within Portugal.
Onto the pics:
| Rossio Square - One of the primary elements of the European trifecta of churches, cafes & squares |
| Julie ensuring the Atlantic Ocean feels the same as it does in the US |
| Rua Augusta - Pedestrian-only road filled with cafes, gelato shops, and endless offers of "Marijuana Shhhhhhhhhh" (aka Hash) |
| Timeout Market - 20+ rotating stands from some of the best chefs/restaurants in the area. Amaze balls sums up this place |
| Some may judge a married couple in their 30s staying in hostels, but then again, those same "some" can't argue with this choice |
| "Centrally located" sums it up pretty well when you are sleeping 20 feet away from the Central Train Station |
| MDOT (look it up non-Michiganders) could take some advice from these 250+ year old roads |
| Tram > Hill |
| "Obscura camera" - A real-time view of the city of Lisbon from within a room in a castle - You could actually see people walking on the streets. Crazy I tell ya, crazy |
| Being all fancy and whatnot during our Bacalhau/salt-tasting session |
| I have adopted a mild obsession with roof architecture so far during this trip |
| A unique sculpture depicting Portuguese explorers in front of a bridge inspired by the Golden Gate in San Fran. Oh the irony |
| Belem Tower - That is all |
| Your quintessential Lonely Planet cover photo for Lisbon/Portugal |
| Jeronimos Monestary (and yes 3 other immature people aside from myself, it IS fun to yell Jeronimo within its echoed hallways) |
| Pastel de Nata - Famous Portuguese pastry filled with custard and all sorts of other deliciousness |
| Catching the Portugal/Hungary Eurocup match - That Ronaldo is sooooooo dreamy |
| Visiting one of the many "miradouro" (aka viewpoints) scattered across this hilly city |
| Clay roofing tile manufacturer man = Millionnaire |
| Tram 28 - "Local tram" completely overtaken by tourists |
| Your standard Lisbon public toilet = BYOS (Bring Your Own Seat) |
| Obligatory night shot |
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