Lisbon: Traveling Around the 1st World in Portuguese Style

Roughly one year since our far eastern journeys around the Orient, and a decidedly “trimmed down” amount of allowable leave remaining in my favor due to last years “excessive borrowing,” Julie and I agreed upon continuing to feed our travel itch, yet in a manner which still maintained employment upon our return to Austin (as any hint to a 2nd annual extended expedition was met with harsh words of discontent from those encompassing jobs more important than mine). Thus, as an alternative to 2 months abroad, enjoying the ridiculous value of 3rd world travel, we chose instead to try our hand at something a bit less time-consuming (i.e. 3 weeks) and a tad more “developed” (i.e. expensive, fancy, toilet-paper-flushing-abilities).

Luckily our selection of a potential destination did not involve hours upon hours of navigating inflight magazines in hopes of finding inspiration from tiny dots and the occasional stars (although I do enjoy the casual perusing of top surgeons around the nation, all conveniently located near a Ruth’s Chris Steakhouse). Instead, a suggestion was made by several of our close friends from Austin, all looking for an escape from the fairly “mild” summers we experience down in Texas. Alongside the newly-married duo of Ben “FTB” Carpenter and Katie “Just Call Me Jesus” Sharpiro Carpenter, as well as our favorite Cuban immigrant, Gabe “I may need a home if our future POTUS has stubby-fingers and an orange-tinted face” Mears, the decision to visit the tapas-inspired/lispy-tongued city of Barcelona was chosen. And since no Soskolne-inspired trip can only visit just one locale, the appendage of a conveniently-located Portugal was added to the mix as well.

Arriving into the capital city of Portugal after a tearful farewell to work & other household responsibilities (damn you year-long siding project), we embarked on 5 days in Lisbon, a city of which neither of us knew much, yet had heard of due to the fact that we are alive, and not residing in a state that ends in “ama” or “ansas” (sound it out, you’ll get them eventually). Despite our initial “limited knowledge” of what truly exists in this faraway land, lucky enough, the internet exists (Al Gore shoutout), and so do thousands upon thousands of reviews, recommendations & travel tidbits. Thus, an itinerary was developed, married-couple-friendly backpacker establishments were researched, and a peak into the piggy bank was explored.

Described as contemporary, yet romantic, renaissance-inspired yet gothic, Lisbon is not your typical city in which to write sarcastic quips, or draw attention to eccentricities which do not exist in the good ole US of A. Instead, it is clean, proper, polite, and almost every other word which causes me to stare blankly at a laptop unsure of how to compose an entertaining blog post (thus the 3 introductory paragraphs). As a result, instead of channeling my inner Rick Steve and throwing excitement in every which direction (fraud I declare you, fraud!), instead I highlight some of our favorite non-photogenic moments:

Lisbon in a Nutshell – Lots of hills, lots of sun, and some other cool stuff which shall appear in the photos below. 9/10 on the “we could live here” scale.

“May I Offer You Some Marijuana or Hash?” – Due to the recent legalization of ALL drugs across the Portuguese landscape, the abundance of “mood-elevating” substances on every which corner was quite prevalent, and almost unavoidable (especially when wearing the apparent “stoner” outfit of cargo shorts, a t-shirt and a faded U of M hat). With the majority of offers involving Marijuana or Hash (and no Julie, they were not attempting to covertly conceal their proposals by uttering “Marijuana shhhhhhhh”), we had the distinct privilege of politely declining 19 offers during our 5 days in Lisboa. We get high on life Mr. Stranger Danger!

I’ll Have Some Bacalhau with my Salt Please – As the national dish of Portugal, Bacalhau, aka “salted cod,” is advertised everywhere and anywhere food has the ability to be presented on a standing piece of wood (i.e. table). Deciding to partake in Portuguese tradition, we visited Laurentina o Rei do Bacalhau, roughly translated, “the House of Bacalhau” -- The most revered cod-serving establishment in the city. And while their cod may be the best, we were unable to tell, as approximately 82 pounds of salt covered its pungently-flavored flesh. Mas agua por favor.

Public Transportation – With a population of just over 500,000 Por-Too-Gais, Lisbon encompasses a surprisingly unlimited array of transportation options. A fully-functional/spectacularly-clean subway, endless yellow-tinted trams, funiculars (best translated as “inner-city public elevators”), Asian-inspired tuk-tuks and of course jammed-packed buses to fill in all the gaps to which the prior 4 do not travel. Austin, in comparison, a city of over 900,000 Hip-Sters, encompasses a fairly untimely bus system and a crappy light-rail which goes nowhere anybody wants to go. Oh yes, but we do have bike lanes. Endless miles of partially-used bike lanes. Do not forget about the bike lanes! (Rant over).

All in all, we were pleasantly surprised by our time in the city of Lisbon. Maybe due to the fact that we were immersed in true European culture for our first time since college (hurray for cafes, churches & squares) or possibly a result of the excitement around Brexit (HAHA LOL WTF UK), regardless, Lisbon was a great introduction into our 2 weeks to be spent within Portugal.

Onto the pics:

	Rossio Square - One of the primary elements of the European trifecta of churches, cafes & squares
	Julie ensuring the Atlantic Ocean feels the same as it does in the US
	Rua Augusta - Pedestrian-only road filled with cafes, gelato shops, and endless offers of "Marijuana Shhhhhhhhhh" (aka Hash)
	Timeout Market - 20+ rotating stands from some of the best chefs/restaurants in the area. Amaze balls sums up this place
	Some may judge a married couple in their 30s staying in hostels, but then again, those same "some" can't argue with this choice
	"Centrally located" sums it up pretty well when you are sleeping 20 feet away from the Central Train Station
	MDOT (look it up non-Michiganders) could take some advice from these 250+ year old roads
	Tram > Hill
	"Obscura camera" - A real-time view of the city of Lisbon from within a room in a castle - You could actually see people walking on the streets. Crazy I tell ya, crazy
	Being all fancy and whatnot during our Bacalhau/salt-tasting session
	I have adopted a mild obsession with roof architecture so far during this trip
	A unique sculpture depicting Portuguese explorers in front of a bridge inspired by the Golden Gate in San Fran. Oh the irony
	Belem Tower - That is all
	Your quintessential Lonely Planet cover photo for Lisbon/Portugal
	Jeronimos Monestary (and yes 3 other immature people aside from myself, it IS fun to yell Jeronimo within its echoed hallways)
	Pastel de Nata - Famous Portuguese pastry filled with custard and all sorts of other deliciousness
	Catching the Portugal/Hungary Eurocup match - That Ronaldo is sooooooo dreamy
	Visiting one of the many "miradouro" (aka viewpoints) scattered across this hilly city
	Clay roofing tile manufacturer man = Millionnaire
	Tram 28 - "Local tram" completely overtaken by tourists
	Your standard Lisbon public toilet = BYOS (Bring Your Own Seat)
	Obligatory night shot